00:00:06All right. How long will come back? Everybody to the fight gravity show. It’s me John.
00:00:11I’m just so low this week. Stay tuned for more interviews with interesting. People are in the meantime.
00:00:20Thought it’d be fun to talk about goals.
00:00:24What we achieve, what we don’t shave Savatage clarity.
00:00:31another funny thing, it seems like
00:00:36Who are there? Clear on our goals and we sabotage or not. Clear on, on our goals are not exactly sabotaging.
00:00:46But then just kind of like going.
00:00:50like, for me,
00:00:53Durban times like I I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to be bigger. I did want to be stronger, but I would like sabotage cuz I hadn’t liked other, I had other fears.
00:01:06And me of being like like big and strong, you know? And I like
00:01:11Maybe fear is not a good way to put it. It’s like
00:01:16damn I guess like I can’t really do it. I’m not really ever going to be that big identifying with an idea that I’m skinny bastard and I’m always going to be one not to negate.
00:01:32Once like, genetic bone structure. But you could see how
00:01:38You not excuses, can and just reasons and how our mind can fabricate excuses that has like sabotage, like what we want and sometimes not even really, really sure what we want. So, I guess it took, you know, some experience in and trying different things for me to realize what I really wanted. It’s like to be a little bit bigger to be like, I feel strong and muscular but not like super big.
00:02:09Like seeing like bodybuilders and they’re like freaking huge. I kind of don’t want that.
00:02:17I feel really confident if I wanted to be like,
00:02:21A hundred, a hundred kg right around 200 lb, solid, muscle, 10, 10, 12%, body fat. I’m really coughing I can get there. I don’t want to I’m sitting around like a t.
00:02:41How to make Americans. Do math figure out the math guys kilograms to pounds. I’ve had to figure that out here. Yeah. It’s it’s it’s not hard, I promise the longer you sit in the metric system, the easier it is. I mean, yeah. For, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m, I am American. I am. I am living in China and I get to meet people from all over the world all the time.
00:03:06And the rest of the world that uses the metric system.
00:03:10I’m still at the I can’t say I’m like amazing at like thinking in the metric system might kilometers still kind of like thinking in kilometers is kind of weird for me and I definitely prefer miles but it gets easier.
00:03:29At some point in my life, I did figure it out. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to feel strong.
00:03:38I wanted to be able to do some things that reflected like strength. I wanted to be able to have really good control of my body, right? This is why I did kind of Fallen calisthenics and I’ve been a proponent of it ever since. I’m being really good at push-ups and pull-ups and other stuff like this, I wanted to be really efficient. And I’ve come to really enjoyed relative body strength. I’m pretty happy with my absolute strength. I’m not the strongest, I’m not the biggest, I’m pretty happy. If I go and lose some weight once in awhile, I’m pretty happy with what I’m able to do. I think bodyweight training, the calisthenics is going to better develop the upper body than the lower body. And I think you kind of see this across the board with other calisthenics guys, that don’t lift weights and you see the whole kind of like chicken leg thing,
00:04:31Where the legs I would say they’re pretty like efficient and athletic overall, cuz I’ve seen guys with like, not super muscular Muscular legs. Do pretty cool and athletic stuff, right. I seen guys, their legs. Don’t look really muscular and they can jump like, there’s no tomorrow they can do explosive work. They can do Insane pistol, squat variations, and flips and other stuff like that. So I guess strength that’s left. Lettuce is immense size. They don’t seem to always be, I correlated
00:05:11for the longest time it does it seem like I was
00:05:16I was chasing, I was chasing something.
00:05:20And I wasn’t.
00:05:24You know, I’m having trouble with my words.
00:05:28It’s like they knew what I wanted, but deep down, I didn’t.
00:05:34so, when I was trying other stuff,
00:05:37Trying to lift weights in different ways. It wasn’t like the problem. Was it weights or anything? The problem was up here. It was my, like, lack of clarity. I thought I wanted to be the big strong Buckeye.
00:05:50But I kind of did I want to be strong and athletic and other things.
00:05:56you know, and I guess might, my sabotage, why I didn’t get the results I wanted was because I could kind of describe he’s in a lot of different ways, but then it gets all
00:06:14Psychology stuff and maybe maybe you don’t want to get too much into psychology stuff.
00:06:23I mean, but yeah, so there was a mismatch with my actions and what I really wanted like my deep inside.
00:06:32And that kind of took time to figure out.
00:06:37And it’s kind of like what do you really want?
00:06:43I feel like part of this.
00:06:46Are like like messages. Like men are are bombarded with.
00:06:52and it’s like,
00:06:56do you do you have to drive your like sense of Manliness from having like a shitload of muscle?
00:07:04Although I think it would benefit all men to have like some sort of, like, it’s like feeling like physically strong at something.
00:07:15I think, I think most guys would really that would dislike feel awesome like being feeling strong at something.
00:07:23And I don’t know what that is for you. No idea.
00:07:27But, but went into, so I’m not just like, this isn’t like men only, you know, there might be women listening, so just feeling strong at something.
00:07:40But I can’t, exactly, I can’t exactly speak.
00:07:45On behalf of the female perspective, I’m a guy, sorry, I’m not going to make assumptions about female perspective. I would Hazard to guess though that
00:07:59Women could derive some sort of like satisfaction from feeling physically strong and competent at something.
00:08:08You know, but I forgot eyes. I mean, that feels great, especially when there’s like, sometimes I feel like there’s pressure on, guys, and
00:08:18like, all you’re supposed to be Alpha and
00:08:22You know, be off of these big strong buff guy and you like, huge and ripped, and lift the most weight and have a six-pack and can all these things, it’s not really realistic.
00:08:35Maintaining like a single-digit body fat percentage all year round. I think it’s not realistic, or we’re going to require a lot of sacrifice and maybe other fun substances.
00:08:52But it’s kind of like if testosterone levels are going to be at a, at a better level at like 13 to 15% body fat percentage, then kind of logic and staying at Lake single-digit, body fat percentage if that’s not going to be good for your
00:09:15Maybe like, they’ll be tired issues and energy other other problems and metabolic tissues. It kind of depends and people do all sorts of videos and go to way more detail about that. But
00:09:30I wanted to Circle back to a comment like earlier I said about like training and body weight and weights. So I’m a big fan of bodyweight stuff and I love it and straight for me might not be great for you.
00:09:49I like it. You might not like it, you might want to just wait, it’s great. You might want to do kettlebells great. You might want to do resistance bands, you might not want to do that all. I was all though. I think everybody could benefit from some sort of resistance training in terms of body fat composition, I want to put them in the tree simple. There is either more fat or muscle.
00:10:10Yeah, what that means is, you need some sort of resistance training, whatever you doing, whatever you have something. And if you’re just like, not really excited about it.
00:10:26Do do something in addition to other things cuz if you’re just doing cardio I mean it’s not going to be enough.
00:10:34And I see all the time. People do like a shitload of cardio.
00:10:39They don’t make any significant changes to their diet and kind of the same.
00:10:48And I think that’s kind of like and then they get so personal thing, right? And are they okay? Maybe they’re okay and that’s fine. I would Hazard a guess. Many of them are not okay?
00:10:59Cuz he sit there and have a conversation. And at some point people Express frustration over their excessive levels of fat, to put it politely. So,
00:11:14Which gets us back to goals and clarity.
00:11:19You know, but then if we’re sabotaging ourselves and or in the example that they’re not happy with excessive levels of fat but then they’re doing cardio all the time and they’re not making significant changes to a diet.
00:11:38And it’s like white, why the self-sabotage?
00:11:43no sabotage for different reasons, you know, and
00:11:48not feeling enough, not feeling worthy wanting to
00:11:56Kind of just like stay and, like, not grow. It’s like a part of our mind. Just wants still like
00:12:12And there’s books books to help sabotage.
00:12:18The war on Art. I don’t remember the author’s name.
00:12:23The war on Art talks talks about sabotage, highly recommend that book. I really think you should read it. It’s going to help a lot reflect thing. Think about why you’re sabotaging yourself, why haven’t you achieved, what you want to do? Cuz we all have the power to achieve what we want.
00:12:43you know, we can all be
00:12:46In awesome shape and good health, and all these things. But you know, you do things that don’t. And that’s I mean, that’s mental and emotional.
00:12:57Like you could follow a plan but you just take diet you can follow diet plan for
00:13:0330 60 90 days.
00:13:06And then stop.
00:13:08Without like mental and emotional work. Behind like your habits. What are you choosing? Why are you choosing that?
00:13:17What’s been feeding you? What benefits are you getting? When you make that choice. Every time you make a choice like for your dietary habits, everything you eat everything you’re doing. That’s maybe not
00:13:33the greatest for you. I mean really probably no.
00:13:39But there’s something you get some sort of reward for that bad choice, you do.
00:13:46You know what’s that reward? I mean it could be the food itself, right? It’s like a processed food.
00:13:55Like fat and salt and sugar, all this, all these substrates combined like very addicting. So it could be that itself and it, and then you could be something else.
00:14:06This is not to say Everyone’s an emotional eater but just on some level every single bad dietary choices that we make.
00:14:15And we’re continuing to do overtime and that’s a habit. There’s a reward.
00:14:20What’s that reward? Why?
00:14:27I used to tell people that I have an addictive personality.
00:14:33People knocking. So I’ve never smoked
00:14:38like anything. I’ve never tried any drugs. I don’t drink. I drink once or twice a year.
00:14:46That’s about it.
00:14:49I tried, I tried stuff. You know, I haven’t liked anything.
00:14:55That’s just like, really gross and Nikki. If I’m going to drink, I’d rather have liked something that just tastes really good. If I’m going to drink poison, I want to taste good.
00:15:05Otherwise, I’m just not going to drink. I feel better. Not drinking. I’m not telling you what to do. You’re an adult.
00:15:15You make your choices and you live with the consequences, whatever that is. So you do you do whatever it is?
00:15:22I’m quite happy. Not drinking, I’m not to say that. You shouldn’t matter really drink.
00:15:27There’s research on Experts that talk about moderately drinking like that the tiny bits of like my damage from alcohol in small amounts like having like a positive effect like an inoculation like the vaccine.
00:15:41You know what? A bit of a damaged like Michael hormesis like a stressor, you know, so the little bit of stress like the body recovers from in it stronger.
00:15:53So some would say, moderate alcohol, intake.
00:16:01I’m not saying it’s good or bad.
00:16:04I’m just saying I’m really happy. Not drinking.
00:16:14Anyway, sometimes I rant and I go like this and I go down different paths.
00:16:25But moving on.
00:16:30yeah, so sabotage
00:16:33Yeah, we were talking about sabotage and why we do things.
00:16:40Do we all have different things? You know what? What does I was saying? Like that. I have an addictive personality. Yeah, I feel like I could get addicted to things easily, so I don’t want to think that incentive. Incentivizes me to stay away from alcohol. As I feel like, I just, I get addicted to things easily. I mean, at one point, I did play too much video games and it reached the point, I would like stay up too late and I would have dreams about the games. I was playing and it just kind of wasn’t healthy. It was getting really upset Civ.
00:17:12Like, it doesn’t take much sometimes for me to get really obsessed with about something.
00:17:18And that’s where I have to just kind of like build and balance.
00:17:23I guess, I’ve liked learned the hard way.
00:17:27so there’s things I’ve obsessed about stuff that I shouldn’t have and like
00:17:32I don’t like video games.
00:17:37I don’t make you happy not playing the games.
00:17:42I know if I were to try to play again, it would be hard for me to control myself and I have to figure out a way. I kind of don’t want to
00:17:51I want to live life, I don’t want to be enveloped in fantasy.
00:17:58Ifi’m. Maybe we’ll need an escape me too. I think it’s good. I think it’s an Escape reality from time to time.
00:18:08But it shouldn’t be a kind of day in day out if we have to escape reality day in day out and let me there something wrong. It’s like that’s how I felt.
00:18:19Before I quit teaching.
00:18:22And it felt so stressful.
00:18:25Like I needed an escape.
00:18:28Every single day.
00:18:31It was just like too much.
00:18:40How to sabotage trying to keep myself on track here, okay.
00:18:46Sabotage. Yeah, recommended the war on art.
00:18:53your goals, reflect, how are you sabotaging mad, if you can like dylann on that and you can just like I mean if you can figure out like how you sabotage and just kind of you can build in like and accountability system for yourself, and you can get that like that moment where your
00:19:16Free like about 2.
00:19:23Another book, recommendation.
00:19:26Two, two recommendations. One Atomic habits and believe the author is James. Clear, I could be wrong. I think it’s James Clear. Atomic habits is kind of similar to the slight Edge, okay? Three books side edge and atomic habits, kind of similar. Okay, like small steps. Sometimes I can be like a neurotic perfectionist.
00:19:51And so it’s taking time for me to not be a neurotic perfectionist.
00:19:57Like when I was like teaching, I felt like I couldn’t.
00:20:04I felt like I couldn’t leave teaching to do something else to be an entrepreneur because like neurotic perfectionist Tendencies and I’m like, now I must do it. Exactly like this and I must go back to school for five years and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this
00:20:21and and they prevented me from taking action.
00:20:28So giving myself permission, not to be perfect, not to try to strive for that protection. Still strive to do your best but this is what I had to do for you. It might be different and that’s fine and it will end for someone might be some more. But this is just
00:20:47This is my journey.
00:20:50And I’ve learned that I make more progress if I just like small stuff.
00:21:01Get a hold of it today. A little bit, a little bit, little bit, right? The small steps compound, right? The slight Edge, slight Edge talks about it.
00:21:10James Clear, Atomic habits talks about this as well. He talks about Atomic habits more from like the system,
00:21:19Type, I creating the systems of small habits. So when you’re like sabotaging yourself, creating a system for yourself that’s going to help you keep accountable having like some sort of reward. A reminder, or like, like something creating the systems for yourself that, you know, is going to work. It’s also the idea of being your own scientists. So creating the these Atomic habits that this is part of that.
00:21:49Is CAT scan this book. I say, it’s like really, really knowledgeable that it really fits in with this kind of self-sabotage. And another thing that kind of fits with this is high performance Habits by Brendon. Burchard, I know I’m giving you a lot of reading, but if you like apply yourself from these, like, like books to help a lot, the slight Edge.
00:22:19High performance habits and the war on Ark.
00:22:23Read these books.
00:22:27And again, start with one. Oh my God. Poor books on Audible.
00:22:37I’m not sponsored at all my audible. It’s just a recommendation of what I personally use. You don’t have to use it. I love audiobooks. It’s great. I can work out and
00:22:52And listen to a book. I like it sometimes though. I can’t sometimes I just like, it depends on how I’m feeling emotionally.
00:23:00Some days I just need to be like and sometimes I’m just like, yeah, I’m working out. Getting a good workout.
00:23:10And there’s other platforms for audio books. I highly recommend audiobooks. I think it’s great, but it’s taking me time for the longest time I couldn’t like, listen.
00:23:19Listen to Like Mike bucks. It’s just I mean and it’s just too difficult it was hard for me to concentrate but now it’s okay.
00:23:31But yeah, find them find the PDF file them download. Whenever I’m not recommending. You do anything good? Get the books, read them.
00:23:42It will help.
00:23:45Yeah, we have it. Brendon burchard high performance habits. Oh, so he talks a lot about the like what do high performers do
00:23:53How does a Optimizer schedule highly optimized routines Jose positively trigger themselves? How do they possibly trigger their towels in the action? How they optimize? I really interesting stuff and really when you’re I think getting into the science of success, the actual like Mike details, what are they doing this like priming yourself and Transitions and
00:24:19I don’t like, like mental fatigue into your performance.
00:24:30now, it’s kind of in the context of, like business,
00:24:34And it really fits well, with like, Business and Entrepreneurship. And
00:24:40And stuff like that. But I think it has a lot of value for everyone. Just on a personal level, I performance habits.
00:24:50and so, when you read that,
00:24:54would you when you read that?
00:24:58You you can think about that in terms kind of your sabotage and you can apply it again just to this context. You don’t have to be like oh my God, I just
00:25:09I just cell phones at Best Buy. I don’t know, I don’t know what to do.
00:25:15You know, just applied to Fitness, apply it to your fitness and health routines.
00:25:22You know, take the ideas.
00:25:25Hi stuff. I don’t think I suggestions like wanting to eat. Then you was him and other people like giving reminders in your phone and giving positive triggers like finding positive phrases for yourself and putting up a reminder in on your phone. You even put it in the background.
00:25:43I have like phrases in my calendar.
00:25:47And just like that are going to help trigger me the action.
00:25:52And it really helps a lot and you might find you need to change it from time to time.
00:26:08Yeah, cuz a lot of us, we we struggle, we struggle with our goals.
00:26:14and it’s like some people achieve their goals and a lot of people don’t
00:26:20And it’s kind of sad and just like life goes by.
00:26:24And life goes by in like, just passes them by a calendar. Is also kind of Lucky, it kind of kind of relates
00:26:34Like learning to use a calendar that that’s definitely. I think an art and a skill.
00:26:39And the science Arts kill science, all at the same time.
00:26:44I’m still working on that. I am not a master of calendering, not yet I’m getting better. I need to revamp, my calendar. I need to change kind of how I I do and organize things so I can optimize my time.
00:27:06What time is abundant?
00:27:09That’s a, that’s another key thing here.
00:27:12Put in like your goals, not achieving your goals and sabotage and time cuz that’s another excuse. I don’t have time.
00:27:22What I was thinking about time in terms of scarcity, there’s not enough, there’s not enough, there’s not enough, there’s never enough time, I never have time. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, you can
00:27:36Can there is enough time?
00:27:39if you feel like there’s not enough time,
00:27:45Either your goals, don’t mean enough for you and you’re quick to say no and do other things.
00:27:58You need to reflect on your goals is like, is it really that meaningful to you? I really want to do it, but I was watching Netflix, 3 hours. You really want to.
00:28:09But you’re watching Netflix.
00:28:13What can you do in 3 hours?
00:28:15I don’t have any statistics, but
00:28:20I mean, Warren Moore watching.
00:28:23Watching more and more and more. And that’s something. I’ve struggled with a bit in the past has been watching.
00:28:31binge-watching stuff and just like,
00:28:34Kind of like, like an escape.
00:28:37When things get tough.
00:28:41Chris last year, you know, I miss everything that’s happening. It was kind of tough.
00:28:47I was trying to fight that hurts and sometimes I was good and sometimes it kind of wasn’t. I definitely been watched more last year than in the past has been a lot better.
00:29:02I’m is abundant there actually is a lot of time.
00:29:06so, if you were actually to sit here and look at everything you do,
00:29:11Everything in your life, all the everything that you doing, just right, write it all down.
00:29:18Down. And like,
00:29:22What can I do instead?
00:29:26If you’re watching a lot of TV,
00:29:31what was what was TV if your goals are really worth it? You’ll watch less.
00:29:39And you’re not going to be hard first.
00:29:43Because you get a reward from watching that it helps you. It helps you deal with other. It might help you deal with other feelings. You might like the Escape, you might feel stressed, you might feel like you need a break or something else. I like whatever that reward is whatever like that satisfaction that that that you get from this this habit Behavior activity that you doing that you know you probably shouldn’t do but you do it anyway.
00:30:14ask yourself these questions and the one when you understand,
00:30:21The reward you’re getting from from these activities. That’s not good for you, then it’s like, okay.
00:30:31How else can I get this?
00:30:34On. We can think I’m going to start wrapping this up.
00:30:40Time. Time is abundant. It is not scarce. Look at your schedule.
00:30:45What are you doing?
00:30:48What could you do instead?
00:30:51One thing that helps me again is essential oils.
00:30:55Essential oils to help me because they can pass our blood-brain barrier and positively affect our limbic system.
00:31:03And this can help her emotional state. You can reach out to me for more info. You can send me an email, John Becker at 5 gravity. Org.
00:31:13And we can talk more about that we can like schedule like a video call or something.
00:31:20Recommended for Brooks slide Edge, Atomic habits, high performance habits.
00:31:29And the war on arques. Good books, read them.
00:31:35You can achieve your goals.
00:31:41Step-by-step reflect. Keep trying try things differently. Ask yourself the right questions. Practice asking yourself these questions.
00:31:54And you get better asking yourself questions and it’ll be great.
00:31:58and you’ll be,
00:32:00Farther Along towards your goals and you’ll feel better about your life. You’ll be happier. Even if you’re not achieving your goals, you’ll be on that path to achieving your goals which feels great, which feels empowering.
00:32:19Yeah, I do it.
00:32:23Alright, thank you.
00:32:27Thank you for tuning in.
00:32:30And I look forward to.
00:32:33Being with you guys again.
00:32:36On the next show where I plan on having a guest to interview and thank you for your patience. Thank you for listening to me. Thanks for listening to my rants if you’re watching on YouTube, like, subscribe, comment, give us a Justin. Hey, John talk about this. Hey, try this, try that.
00:32:58Great. You should also send me an email, John Becker at 5 gravity. Org.
00:33:0410 questions and comments, you can send suggestions to
00:33:11Alright, take care.
00:33:14And stay strong.